Sunday, March 23, 2008

Right-Click Button in Internet Explorer

From: "Cecil Pinto"

Goan for the Jocular
by Cecil Pinto
____________________

To,
The Top Honcho
Microsoft
USA

Subject: Right-Click Button in Internet Explorer

Dear Mr. Gates,

Greetings from sunny Goa. How's it hanging pal? No
news recently about that massive high tech RCC
bungalow which you were building. Builders here in
Goa too are going through a slump.

Now I have been a dedicated user of Microsoft Products
since the days of good old DOS and GW-BASIC.
Don't let those Linux guys scare you.
Nothing comes free in life - not even software.
As long as you ensure that pirated Microsoft products
are easily available worldwide you have nothing to
fear in your quest for world domination.

My grouse is about Internet Explorer's Right-Click
button function. Let me explain about the first time
I faced the problem...

Being an amateur photography enthusiast I was
browsing the Internet one day for 'amateur pics'.
Realms of unexplored territory unfolded for me (and
my research continues to date). Definitely much more
interesting pictures that the amateur pics one sees
in Better Photography magazine. I have amassed an
entire collection of these amateur pics since. Purely
for research purpose mind you. Lighting, compostion,
skin tones...

I use Microsoft Internet Explorer for browsing. What
I normally do when I come across an interesting
picture is to right-click the mouse button on it.
As you know a menu appears which gives me an option to
"Save Picture As.." on my harddisk. After a
particularly late night of such research one day at
the office I went home unaware of the chaos to follow.
Next morning as I jaunted into office, late as usual,
my male colleagues were avoiding my eye and all the
females in the office was giving me dirty looks.
I was summoned to the boss' cabin for a dressing down.


Apparently I had right-clicked a bit to fast and hit
"Set as Wallpaper". Imagine my female colleague's
surprise when she turned on the computer that
morning to see a picture of 6 Columbia Co-eds
cavorting on the screen 'au naturale'. Fortunately
I have not been sacked from the job but my Internet
access has been restricted.

To come to the point Mr. Gates could you ask your
Software engineers to kindly rewrite the Internet
Explorer code so that the "Save Picture As.."
and "Set as Wallpaper" options are kept as far away
from each other as possible so that such fiascos do
not occur again.

Hope you will join me for a peg of Caju Feni someday
here in Goa. I could show you my picture collection.
When you can take a break from counting all your
money that is.

Cecil Pinto
(Amateur Photo Researcher)
__________
The humour column above appeared in Goa Plus the
Friday Magazine section of The Times of India on
22nd November 2002.
==========

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